And so with glorious fanfare Transformers 2 blasted it's way into the theaters. Ever so special, it got a Wednesday release, and seemed to be the talk of media for a week.. maybe two.
Truth be told, I don't think I've seen more than a couple commercials for it since it released. I think it did well.. but I don't really follow box office numbers. It's not MY money, after all.
Now, Transformers was a cartoon I can kind of remember watching as a kid... and that's about it. I remember watching it.. even had some of the toys... but I can't recall a single episode. Likely just as well, Transformers was one of many cartoons that were created with the intent to sell toys. I've heard that for the creator had as many as three different story lines going for different regions of the world. Mass marketing, if I've ever heard of it.
But I digress. Like always. (Dundundun)
I'm an individual easily impressed and swayed by the shiny, glossy veneer offered by CG, and this movie has it in spades. Cinematically it was well done and spectacular, easily entertaining and distracting. The sort of thing that makes my teeth buzz for a bit and keeps me on an ADD laden rush for hours. Or would have if I weren't so drop dead tired at the end. The movie was freaking LONG.
The rush wore off, and I came to my senses a bit. I still enjoy the movie, and want to get a dvd when it's ready... but, in the post mayhem dust, questions began to pop up. Deep questions. Nagging questions. Questions with no easy answers. (actually, it's an easy answers that sum up to two words... Plot Device.)
First and foremost, I'm going to make an obvious statement about the transformers (Autobot and Deceptacon alike)... They're freaking robots.
Like, dur?
That said, one notices that each of the bots seems to have a rather clearly defined gender. This begins to boggle the mind a bit, but could easily be summed up to a sentient race who's individual members have developed a sense of gender identity. However.. They're robots, right? They're not REALLY boys and girls. Right? I mean... let me paint a couple pictures here of potential robot reproductive habits...
Big buff truck meets a sleek and sexy motorbike. He flashes some rims, she flashes some rubber. They get together over a couple of chilled cans of Maxoline. Then, under the shimmer stars, amidst the clanking and clanging of chasis parts, a new life is begot... a robo hatchling (WTF?! Robo hatchlings?! Seriously?!)
OR... a couple of robos decide they want to make new life and go out and buy a couple of erector sets. And a super computer.
Seriously... it's a question that's boggled my mind. They may be alive in a lot of senses.. but they're STILL freaking ROBOTS. BLARGH!
Huge as it is, robopron is hardly the only issue I have with the universe. Namely, we're dealing with creatures with advanced computer type brains. Not only alien in world, but in the very nature of their existance. For all that Optimus tries to assure us that our kinds are not so differet, there's a few glaring indications to the contrary. (Metal, ability to assume the shape of machines, probably long lived, if not all but immortal?).
Eh, I lost track of this a bit.. ultimately... it makes little sense how a race that is just so completely different from ours could begin to understand us... our broadcasts aside... even if they ARE the biggest softies in the universe.
A few other notes of point...
Robo balls! Funny, even a bit cute.. but in the end... whu?
Wheelie! Horny little bugger needs to be shot. Repeatedly. Preferably with a nailgun. Though, I admit he amused me.
Bumblebee! Is way, way, waaaaay too interested in Sam and McKayla's relationship.
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